The Erotic Adventures of Wank Master Teapot
by Powdered Wings
Summary: Join Wank Master on his adventure
1. Chapter 1, subchapter 1

I don't own stuff, don't sue me.

_The Erotic Adventures of WankMaster Teapot_

Chapter I: _The Capture of Shinji Ikari_

Subchapter I: The Stench

It hit him like a punch to the chest. Wrenching and twisting the gut until the victim no longer realized any of his other senses. The horrible smell was what one Shinji Ikari awoke to. Indeed the soft waves of red LCL relentlessly crashed upon the beach; inching closer to his feet. White sand was hard packed and cold under his sore body. Yet none of these sensations mattered at first. It was only the stench radiating from the sea of LCL that could awake Shinji from his terminal slumber, pulling him unwillingly from his world of shelter and unity. It was the smell of rotting blood, the odor of death and slaughter. It was the aftermath of the third impact. The smell called to him, to wake him, to prepare him for things to come.

Sound was the second sense to come back.

He heard…waves.

A gentle sloshing, the whisper of the waves. A simple back and forth whooshing of water.

Back and forth, back and forth, the water gently stroking the sand, almost lovingly. Shinji simply laid there listening to the waves slowly crash upon the beach in their steady rhythm.

Slosh…Slosh…Slosh.

Again and again, the soothing noise slowly pulled him closer and closer to consciousness

Slosh…Slosh…Slosh.

And there was sand, the wet sand that he laid on. So heavy and dense that his weight hardly made an impression. Yes, he could feel the sand now with his fingertips. He could feel his fingertips, resting gently against the grit. Shinji slowly became aware of the rest of his body, his arms, shoulders, neck. His arms were bare and the sand was cold. He could feel his back against the sand, his legs out stretched.

He hurt.

His muscles joined in a chorus of screaming as the pain came rushing back. Shinji could not move his limbs. He was only an idle spectator to his pain, unable to cradle his burning arm or contort his face in a grimace of suffering. Sharp knives gouged into his body as all the nerve endings came to life with a screech. The sharp pain began to fade to dull throbbing, subsiding slightly as its novelty wore off. Shinji now could feel something else pulsing, besides the pain. He could feel a pulsating life-giving force within him, subtle and soft; yet at the same time, powerful. It was his heart; he could feel its beating. The steady rhythm added to the sloshing of the waves. There was yet another rhythmic sound, offbeat with the others. The sounds of his own painful breathing filled the air.

His feeble mind could tell that something was different. He could no longer enjoy the billions of souls attached to his own. He was free, horribly and terrifyingly free; and he was empty. Oh how empty and sick he felt, as if he had wrenched up everything in his gut. That hunger. The hunger for a voice, a consciousness, anything so that he wouldn't be alone. Shinji's deprived body hungered for anything alive, anything with a beating heart. He was utterly and completely alone, and somehow he liked it.

The twisted feeling of emptiness left Shinji with an unbelievable sense of peace and balance. He enjoyed the fact his heart yearned vainly for companionship. He found closure in knowing things were now static, never to be changed by the decisions of others. It was the way things should be. He was alone. Finally all was right with the world.

Finally, Shinji Ikari opened his eyes.

_He was not alone._

He did not need to see to realize he was not alone. In fact, Shinji Ikari could not see. Those freshly opened blue eyes conveyed nothing but darkness to the mind. And yet Shinji Ikari knew that something was very wrong here.

_He was not alone._

How could that be? Even in its deprived and murky state, there was only one fact that Shinji's mind could comprehend. That slow mind expected to only feel a ravenous loneliness, a loneliness that can only come from being truly alone. And yet…

_He was not alone!_

He did not need any of his senses to know he was not alone; not sight, nor smell, nor touch. Shinji could feel the imbalance in the very depths of his empty bowls. His rapidly awakening psyche could only repeat a single thought.

_He was not alone!_

That single thought was branded upon his brain in red-hot characters. The flames of the scorching phrase breathed life into that frigid mind at an exponential rate. That electric lump of gray matter began to turn over again and again now at an alarming velocity.

_He was not alone. He was not alone. He was not alone!_

His vision was beginning to clear, but the fuzzy image didn't matter. The dark sky and shimmering stars meant nothing to his tortured mind. Not even the ghostly red streak that encircled the hemisphere could peak his interest. He could no longer deny the fact that he was not alone. Another living being was completely unacceptable, its existence went against everything that was expected, that was meant to be. Shinji understood that it was his mind that crafted this world, his dark fantasies that shaped this vast prison of hopelessness. Yet his mind had been crafted as well. His twisted mind had been crafted to deal with eternal loneliness, to shun the light and warmth of human compassion forever. Thus it could not accommodate this alien feeling that was pulsing through his body again and again, tearing his sanity apart.

_He was not alone._

That fact was completely unacceptable. It could not exist. His mind could not accept its existence. The thought of not being alone was impossible. The thought of not being alone was excruciatingly painful, bringing Shinji Ikari a mental suffering that made all physical pain seem trivial. A single impossible fact was burning him alive.

_Kill_

There was no other solution. The anomaly had to be eliminated. Shinji bolted upright. There! A lone figure standing over the water, a blue haired girl. Standing on top of the water; impossible! Shinji looked for her again, the blood lust welling up from deep inside him. She was now gone.

Another, there had to be another! In his frantic scanning, Shinji finally heard the faint breaths coming from a red clothed figure lying beside him. The black pool of murderous rage splashed against his insides as it bubbled up to consume him even further. He had to kill the girl. Kill the living thing to unleash that blissful loneliness and serenity.

_Kill_

Shinji was beyond excited. The source of his torment was so close, so vulnerable; waiting for him to wrench the life from her. He straddled her tightly so she could not escape, and wrapped his hands around her throat. There was nothing quite as satisfying as feeling the pulsing veins under his ever tightening hands. He could feel the victim still breathing and increased his grip until the airflow became just a weak wheezing. His eyes were unfocused on the dying figure. That wonderful warm pulse began to fade under the extreme pressure. It was all about to end soon, yet the strain of companionship still raged as strong as ever in his mind.

_Touch_

Across his face came the caress. Suddenly his eyes came back into focus.

_Asuka?_

Her features haunted him. It was not her ghastly eye patch, nor her seemingly expressionless face that alarmed Shinji the most. It was the undeniable feeling that in the moment, staring into her eyes, Shinji was being exposed to something profound, something he would never be exposed to again, and Shinji knew he was missing it. There was a sense of incredible revelation in Asuka's features, though Shinji realized that he could never grasp it. It was discovering the greatest secret in the world, and forgetting it.

She was confused, perplexed, and wrestling with herself. She was paralyzed with internal motion as two unseen forces collided within her. It was in her eyes that a great struggle was being played out. One force, crushed and weakened, was engaged in hopeless valiant battle with an almost all-powerful will. The skirmish bound her body in place and froze her face in that epic state. That same epic state had bewitched Shinji, the same expression that he could not understand.

Just like that, it was all gone. The murderous rage simply evaporated, along with the smell, the sound, and the light of the world. Only the sensation of him crying over her body remained. Shinji was one confused bastard child.

The desperate sobbing announced to this flawed world that the central dogma had been changed. This was no longer Shinji's paradise. Its events and destiny were now out of his hands. He was no longer God. He was once again a hurt little boy.

Extra Scene:

Two and a half hours prior to the awakening of Shinji Ikari:

A lone red haired beauty walked along the beach, her long legs splashing in the surf. She had the appearance of a young girl, but her poise and stride exuded confidence and power. She was waiting for something. She had waited for this for a very long time. Her eyes were ceaselessly scanning the water, endlessly looking for any disturbance.  
>The shape of a boy emerged far in the distance. A knowing smile spread across her face and she ran off towards land.<p>

An hour later she returned, wearing a red plug suit. An eye patch was slung over her face and a bandage now encased her arm. She carefully laid herself down next to the now beached boy.

And once again she waited.


	2. Chapter 1, subchapter 2

Chapter I: The Capture of Shinji Ikari

Subchapter II: The Sea

_When the mind is not permitted to look at a particular focus, the object in question begins to grow and swell in the darkness. In the corner of the inky unknown, the forbidden slowly unfurls. Just out of sight, yet in no way out of mind, the taboo spreads to the very edges of one's vision, its longest tendrils stretching against the very edges of perception, threatening to reach within and envelope the senses. _

As Shinji refused to look over to his left, all the signs of Asuka's existence crept to the forefront of his remaining senses. He could not help but hear every ragged breath she took with as much resolution as if she panted directly into his ears with her hair caressing his neck. He could not help but notice every tremor as the sand shifted gently just inches away from him when she occasionally repositioned herself. He could smell just the faintest breath of detergent against the overpowering onslaught of an unrecognizable yet familiar miasma. Every aspect of her proximity seemed to suffocate Shinji as he refused to look over or give any acknowledgement of her existence. What she was doing there, he hadn't the faintest idea. Minutes after he had collapsed upon her crying, he pulled himself away with his eyes clenched. While he yearned to look over at the girl who was constricting all of his other senses, the only things he permitted himself to see were his own sneakers. His steely blue eyes were absolutely fixated upon them. The black pupils were dilated and unwavering on the footwear. The imitation brand sneakers were as beaten and worn as he remembered them. The shoestrings were frayed at the same places; the same scuff marks adorned the corners. The beginnings of a tear on the left were present and accounted for. Perhaps that tear was a bit larger now, Shinji conceded to himself. Then, suddenly, just beyond those off white sneakers something else came into focus. It contrasted so violently with the dusty sneakers that Shinji's gaze was finally wretched from his own shoes.

_The sand was pure white_

Shinji had rarely been to the beach, yet he had never beheld such white and pure sands those his sneakers rested upon. It was a brilliant white that swallowed all detail, all shadow. Whether it was smooth or rippled in dunes, Shinji could not tell. With a jerk of surprise, he realized he had been clutching the sand between his fingers as he supported himself all this time. It was solid, and yet seemed to flow through his fingers like cream. It was as airy as perfume, yet supported his weight easily. He picked up a pinch and rubbed the grains between his fingers, and looked at his hand for the first time. He had never so closely examined sand before, yet he knew that this must have been an incredible example of the breed. Each grain was exactly the same size, perfectly clear, and impossibly spherical. As he threw the handful into the air, it seemed to disperse like mist. He raised his hands to his face and he looked at the familiar lines and creases that crossed his palm. Then he looked at this outstretched fingers, and finally beyond at the inky darkness beyond them.

_The sky was impossibly black_

The night sky was as total in its blackness as the sands were complete in their whiteness. The horizon where they met was sharp as a razors edge. As Shinji blinked, the vicious contrast between the two infinite expanses burned impressions of the horizon on his retina. Yet within the darkness, an overwhelming number of stars pierced through the obsidian. These stars did not wink, or twinkle, instead they gleamed steadily and seamlessly. This was not the starry sky of an enchanted fragrant summer's eve. This was the harsh sky of space, with seemingly no atmosphere to blur the boundaries between the vast emptiness and the distant reactions of intense fusion. The night sky seemed to carry no weight and the air did not warm or cool his skin. There was no gentle sea breeze, no sense of volume or distance to the atmosphere above. It seemed to Shinji to be the vacuum of space, yet his lungs filled easily with air that seemed to have no substance. Then as he continued to scan the space above him, he noticed a red mist. He thought it must have been an optical illusion at first. It was the only thing he had seen so far that was not sharply and absolutely defined. Shinji almost had trouble following the line of red that divided the sky at first, yet as he continued to gaze, it seemed to brighten under his view, until it seemed to be the most glaring feature of the sky. A continuous band of what looked like blood, a rainbow from hell. It even seemed to cast a shadow across the pristine white sand in the far distance. Though the mist appeared whisker thin in the sky, its shadow seemed to be miles wide, a gradual taper that raced to the horizon the only detail that betrayed distance in the featureless void of black and white. Shinji now stood up to gaze at the sky. His new found height allowed him to stand over the redheaded girl he knew he must not look at. For the first time, he looked over to his left. As he looked over the head of that person, he allowed his gaze to drop until it was just above what he assumed was the top of her red hair. At first he thought he must have looked too far down and was looking into the waves of Asuka's flowing scarlet locks. Yet as generous as Asuka's hair was, what Shinji saw now was far too expansive. Just above and beyond Asuka's head were gentle undulations and rocking of an impossible color.

_The sea was red_

This fact was not an exaggeration of a normal quality. The sky was blacker than a normal black. The sand was whiter than a normal white. However as Shinji stood on his toes to look over Asuka onto the ocean, he could not fathom an entirely red sea. In the distance it was entirely a uniform color of pale sickly red except for the white caps and the pale froth near the shore. The waves crashed relentlessly on the white beach despite an absolute lack of wind, as if the red sea was a living entity of its own, forcing itself upon the land. Shinji looked across the ocean for any signs of land on the other side. Instead he only saw the curvature of the horizon itself and red as far as he could see. He brought his gaze closer to himself, careful to avoid the girl sitting at his feet. He focused on the leading edge of the waves as they crept down the sloping sand. That's when he noticed the familiar yellow tingle the thin sheet took as it closed on shore. The smell was now unmistakable. It was LCL. It was blood. Shinji realized now they were one and the same. With that gut twisting conclusion, Shinji turned around with his back to the waves and doubled over. He wretched and heaved and only a string of clear saliva issued. His stomach was completely empty already. The sounds of his agony joining the never ending chorus of the relentless waves.

"What is this place?" A strangled voice called about from behind him. It was as alien as it was dreadfully familiar. Shinji realized he could no longer avoid the forbidden object any longer. He spun around to look over at Asuka. His expression dropped. The sight was perhaps the most shocking of all.

_Asuka was hurt_

Extra-Scene:

Asuka watched intently as Shinji stared only at his feet. She watched silently, carefully, betraying no emotion. Shinji looked almost intoxicated, hardly aware of his surroundings. He began to clutch at the sand, playing with it between his fingers, throwing handfuls into the air. Asuka shifted uncomfortably, curious and yet cautious. Finally Shinji looked to the stars and gasped a breath of disbelief, and stood in wonderment at the space above. As he turned towards her, his gaze grazed her scalp as he locked eyes to the red ocean, and at this Asuka's gaze turned to troubled concern. Though his face was hidden from view far about her, his astonishment was evident. Yet the darkness that crossed her face was only for a moment, as he made the motion to turn around, Asuka quickly rearranged her features into a pained faint smile as he began to dry heave. And then Asuka opened her mouth to speak.


End file.
